Hey, I thought “money in the bank” was an expression of something being solid and reliable. “It’s like money in the bank,” they say. Judging by the performances of major banks on Wall Street it looks like we’ve been had.

OK, money in the bank is different than owning shares of the bank but still – banks are supposed to be safe places. That’s why they’re the ones that have safes, right? You don’t drop your Will and Grandma’s gold off at the safe at Wal-Mart, do you?

Let’s see, Wells Fargo, the bank with the stagecoach logo full of prospector’s gold I believe, fell 23% today on top of the bear market it already had. PNC down 41%. State Street down 57%.

Even JPMorgan – “the good bank” – was down 19%. What’s going on here? I’d say all that TARP money has evaporated. Smooth move, Hank.

Rather than bottom fish in Love Canal (line stolen from a chat room) I think I’ll buy some Sealy (ZZ) since it is already on the sea floor (just kidding – this is not investment advice).

Why? Mattress sales are sure to increase as investors park whatever money they have left at home where they can keep a closer eye on it. At least little Johnny won’t use it as collateral for a CDO on his X-box.