My anti-gravity chair is sitting in the barn folded up, for now. The rain has finally come, for now. The days are short, the light is long, and the cool days are here to stay, for now. Maybe it is the time of the year, the shortness of the days, the cool-for-California weather, or the darker days that come with long-awaited rains, but I find myself in a funk. Not a deep funk, but a funk none-the-less. All of the above contribute no doubt, but something else has brought me to this “blue” place …
Each day each of us gets out of bed, goes through our morning ablutions, and then gets on with whatever it is we do in our lives to acquire wealth, pay the bills, feed our families, or just get through the day. Although my life path is quite different than most, I too go through the daily ritual mentioned above, more or less. My path through the day, however, is more mental than physical, and my daily “walk” covers much thoughtful ground.
You see, as a writer, I spend quite a bit of time in my head. My goal is to find worthwhile thoughts, untwist those thoughts to find the clarity, and then figure out how to express those thoughts to my readers in such a way as to enlighten and entertain, in that order. The mental machination I do is work, albeit work I like doing, but it is still work. Daily, that work includes learning whatever I can about global economics, financial workings, government policy, markets, trading, writing, and you. Yes, you …
Writing has often been described as a solitary endeavor. It can be for those who write for themselves, but for those of us who write for others, it is not solitary. It is a partnership with known but yet unknown partners. It is a pact with ghosts, if you will. You are out there, somewhere, unknown to me unless you appear before me, which is your part in our unwritten pact. My part in this pact is to call you with my words, to open the door for you to appear in my world, to inspire you to speak …
As I write this morning, as I do my work, a thought is untwisting in my head. Perhaps something other than the short days, the long light, or the dark days rainy weather brings is pushing me into this blue space. A void has come into that part of my day focused on learning, learning about you. Lately I have been missing you, I would have to say. Perhaps my call to you has been unclear, perhaps I have not opened the door wide enough for you to enter into my thoughtful world, or perhaps my words lack inspiration enough for you to speak back to me. Whatever the reason, your ethereal presence has not appeared lately. Truthfully, my work becomes more difficult when no voice calls back, when no presence appears. I become a writer writing for myself, which is a solitary and somewhat unforgiving endeavor.
Maybe the time of the year defines all our moods, more or less. Maybe this time of the year causes everyone to slow down, nestle in, stay home. Maybe, this is what you have done, and that is why you have not appeared in awhile. No matter, my funk is temporary, I am sure, and it has no bearing on whether I will get up each morning and do what I do in my day. I will continue doing what I do because I know long and warm days, the California sun, and you are only gone for the moment.
Trade in the day; invest in your life …
