I have seen many infomercials on the tube promising to teach us to trade our way to financial freedom. Up market or down, sideways or even what we have today, they parade their incredible success stories in front of us.

We’ve seen plenty for forex too. But usually there is someone who made some coin in the market behind it. Even if all we have to follow are red and green lights, up and down arrows , or just look at the calendar and place our bets without worrying about what is actually going on in the real market.

Although I had seen this one before, this morning I saw one for (beats me what its name was) with celebrity spokes person Jimmy Johnson. You know, former NFL coach with the perfect hair and owner of several superbowl rings.

OK, we’ve seen celebs prostitute themselves for informercials before. This time, good old Jimmy claimed he now trades stocks but when he mentioned things like the “moving day averages” (that is a quote) and Bollinger Bands I had visions of Fonzie on water skis. Stock trading has jumped the shark.

When the next leg down happens, and it will, people are going to flee the stock market for good. Then maybe our tools will work the way they did a century ago.